How supportive of yourself are you? Does your inner-critic sometimes often get a bit too harsh?
Yes, mine too.
Despite the work that I do, I always have to be on the look out for when I’m being my own-worst-enemy and getting in my own way in life. It’s an ongoing practice to catch myself in the act of self-sabotage or when I’m being less than supportive towards myself.
Of all the chapters in my book, Stresshacking, the chapters that have most resonated with many of you are the two on ‘calling out your own-worst-enemy-self’ and ‘becoming your own-best-friend-self.’ It’s been resonating with people in my webinars too and I can see people’s eyes light up as they have their own personal AHA moments.
I have some amazing best friends that have been with me through many highs and lows in life and they’re with me no matter what. If I just think about their qualities for a moment….they are supportive and loving, however I’m feeling. They are protective and caring and always have my back. They’re understanding and honest and will call me out when I’m being irrational or too intense, but they do so without judgement. They pick me up when I hit a dating low, and we just get on with life and have fun. They’re encouraging about all that supports me and they genuinely wish the best for me in life. I’d like to think that I do the same for them. We’re so comfortable with each other that we know we give the best we can to each other, even when we don’t have the capacity to give as much as we’d like. It’s all ok. It’s real and it’s based on love. Life is much better for having them in it. I am much better for having them with me.
I hope you also have friends like that, and I imagine you are that same best friend to others too.
So the question is, why do we find it harder to be that for ourselves as well? Why do we treat ourselves with such a lack of love, care and support? Well, that’s a huge topic and one I’d like to explore in more depth with you all. Perhaps even more importantly is how do we become more of our own-best-friend-self in life? Not instead of our amazing friends, as well as.
As I’ve mentioned in previous posts, my next book is going to be about this very subject. To be honest, I was going to call the book, ‘Becoming Your Own-Best-Friend-Self’ but when I thought about it, it would be better titled, ‘Becoming My Own-Best-Friend-Self’ given that doing so is still very much a working progress for me, and really all I can do is share what I myself observe, experiment with and learn from as I attempt to be less own-worst-enemy-self and more own-best-friend-self.
So, with this in mind and thinking out loud with you all, I also thought that it might be useful to go on that journey together. To support each other to be more supportive of ourselves.
Whilst I’m consciously observing, experimenting and practicing this theme throughout this year, I’m going to share my observations, thoughts, and learnings with you all as I do the work myself. I’ll post some videos to my YouTube page, The Inspired Zone and maybe we’ll do some live sessions there too. What I’d LOVE, is for you to share your own becoming your own-best-friend-self journey with me too and if I can help in any way, or there is a particular area you would love me to do a video on, even if that’s addressing specific questions you have, then just let me know! I’m in!
It’s time we all became more supportive and loving towards ourselves. Can you imagine the explosive potential of doing that more consistently in life 🤩
As a starting point, my current own-best-friend-self (OBFS) personal practice is to acknowledge the wins of all sizes; things like getting on my yoga mat when I really can’t be arsed, getting up to speed with my new tech equipment and software (and a nod here to Richard for his supportive and encouraging help in setting all this up), giving away all the things I don’t have room for in my house but hadn’t yet done anything with since splitting up with my ex-husband, walking away from things that are done, replacing my garden fence which has only stayed upright by the grace of God 😂 and getting on with recording my Ultimate Resilience Programme….oh and drinking a little less wine….again! My ongoing motto, in the voice of my OBFS, ‘if at first you don’t succeed, don’t sweat it, take a deep breath, try again.’
I’d love to hear about your own becoming-your-own-best-friend-self journey too so please do email me your thoughts, your challenges and any moments of own-worst-enemy-self sabotage. If you want to stay up to speed with my videos on it all, make sure you subscribe to my YouTube page, The Inspired Zone as I’ll be posting videos directly there rather than sending them out in this mailing list.
Have a great month and sending you lots of love and encouragement 💕🌟