I am noticing a bit of a theme with some of the problems people seem to be having at the moment and that is one of not really feeling able to say what they think, feel or mean. This seems to br creating so much confusion and misinterpretation that I wonder how much time and effort we are wasting by not having honest conversations both in our personal lives and in our work life.
We often have a habit of saying only half of what we really mean. Not because we mean to be dishonest but because of many reasons:
we worry about the effect we might have on others if we are truly honest
we don’t want to hurt anyones feelings
we think they might not understand us or what we mean
we feel embarrassed about how we feel
we know that others disagree with how we feel
we are concerned about the impact or consequences
we feel unspecified fear
we can’t quite articulate what we mean to say
it feels inappropriate to speak honestly and/or our opinion hasn’t been asked for
And all of those and the many other reasons we don’t always say what we truly think or feel are when we ourselves think we know what we think or feel in the first place!
Sometimes though we haven’t taken long enough, or haven’t been brave enough, to delve deep enough into fully knowing how we feel deep down underneath what we think we know/think/feel at a surface level. Very often when people get upset about something it is not the surface trigger that is really the issue, more that it triggers something deeper within. But how does anyone know this unless they have taken the time to go deeper? Maybe we could all do with reflecting on whether we are saying what we truly mean and being honest about how we feel, not just with others but with ourself.
The way to peace is understanding and compassion. This takes time and a desire for it. There is a growing need in the world that we live in to have real conversations coming from the open, honest and loving place within. There is a growing need in the world to take time to notice how we feel and what we really think underneath all of the busyness and loudness of the outer world.
There is a growing need to listen and to honour each other. To know that it is ok to be different, to be who you are. To know that it is ok to have fears.
And most of all to know that underneath everything we are all love.
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